If any of my dedicated readers were wondering after my last post, I DID IT. I have one more semester of undergrad left. This is an important thing.
I always forget that I hate Christmas until I am in the midst of it. It's easier to believe that once exams are done I will have a vacation. This is never true. This year I am thankful that at least I am not working in a shopping mall. No, I am in a snowdrift with my entire extended family and a dog. SOMEBODY GIVE ME A PRESENT AND I WILL BE QUIET.
I am working on an end of year post but it won't be anywhere near as good as last year's mediocre one. I'll mostly be discussing Lady Gaga and Beyoncé, because I don't really talk about much else anyway. I am sick of this post because I realized that I am not actually going to write about any of the things I thought I was going to write about. TTYL BLOG.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
BLOG
Well crud, I missed another month completely. Now I am holed up riding out this harsh North Carolina winter (it is 40 degrees and raining right now! that's cold right?).
Today I have to do an entire research project. I honestly haven't even decided what to write about, but it's due at 3:30 tomorrow. Power of prayer etc.
Yeah, I really need to hop to it. Also I have learned some things in this first week of my meds; I am allergic to cats, and my roommate's cat likes my room and knows how to jump against the door until it opens and then curl up ON MY FACE. Is this a normal this for a cat to do? At least I can fake illness easier when I am constantly in tears from the cat dander.
I wish I had more to say but my time allotted for blogging has run out. BBL YALL!
Today I have to do an entire research project. I honestly haven't even decided what to write about, but it's due at 3:30 tomorrow. Power of prayer etc.
Yeah, I really need to hop to it. Also I have learned some things in this first week of my meds; I am allergic to cats, and my roommate's cat likes my room and knows how to jump against the door until it opens and then curl up ON MY FACE. Is this a normal this for a cat to do? At least I can fake illness easier when I am constantly in tears from the cat dander.
I wish I had more to say but my time allotted for blogging has run out. BBL YALL!
Monday, October 12, 2009
"nights of pleasure"
I have been thinking (again) about how my aesthetic perceptions are warped by staring into a light display most days. No wonder I can't make meaningful art. I've been feeling mostly all right though.
Today I have to find my debit card and do a huge pile of homework. I am going to try to take more walks. Today I plan to walk to Chubby's Tacos and eat dinner by myself.
Regarding this video: I'd hit it (and you know you would too, slur).
Today I have to find my debit card and do a huge pile of homework. I am going to try to take more walks. Today I plan to walk to Chubby's Tacos and eat dinner by myself.
Regarding this video: I'd hit it (and you know you would too, slur).
Monday, September 28, 2009
"oh you nasty boys"
Hello friends!
Thank you for thinking about me sometimes. What am I doing right now? Oh! I am so glad that you asked!
Yeah, nothing. Should I cut my hair?
I have been praying intermittently to the various energies in the area that they would coalesce into something that could help me clean my room. It may have worked; perhaps it was this ethereal being that whispered in my ear as I slept and inspired me to get a rack for my clothes and some storage buckets for my "important papers" and some shelves for my books and to throw away a bunch of things that I guess were trash.
I have a crisis about once a semester at around this time, and luckily this year I think I managed to have the bulk of it over the weekend. In my blue period I would be on the road to school, and then I would have a panic attack and go shopping instead. And then I would do the same thing several days in a row. And then I would cry and my professors would say that it was ok. I think the fact that I don't do this anymore means I am becoming an adult, in some sense of the word.
Oh no, I didn't mean to "get real" w yall!!! I HOPE U WERE READY!!!
I made a sister/brother blog on tumblr if yall want to read it.
Also, I wanted to add this to my Aretha post:
Also, because why not, here's this:
Thank you for thinking about me sometimes. What am I doing right now? Oh! I am so glad that you asked!
Yeah, nothing. Should I cut my hair?
I have been praying intermittently to the various energies in the area that they would coalesce into something that could help me clean my room. It may have worked; perhaps it was this ethereal being that whispered in my ear as I slept and inspired me to get a rack for my clothes and some storage buckets for my "important papers" and some shelves for my books and to throw away a bunch of things that I guess were trash.
I have a crisis about once a semester at around this time, and luckily this year I think I managed to have the bulk of it over the weekend. In my blue period I would be on the road to school, and then I would have a panic attack and go shopping instead. And then I would do the same thing several days in a row. And then I would cry and my professors would say that it was ok. I think the fact that I don't do this anymore means I am becoming an adult, in some sense of the word.
Oh no, I didn't mean to "get real" w yall!!! I HOPE U WERE READY!!!
I made a sister/brother blog on tumblr if yall want to read it.
Also, I wanted to add this to my Aretha post:
Also, because why not, here's this:
Monday, September 14, 2009
Bear with me yall, it's been an Aretha Franklin day.
Watching these just makes me think of all of the times I've watched someone really belting a song (or trying, rather) and feeling like they are screaming for no reason. Aretha does it with real feeling, and her voice gives me shivers.
Like I said, compare/contrast with this video. Mariah you know I love you, but you are a diva for my generation. What I mean by this is, like the America of the 90s you are soulless. (Aside: is this why Beyoncé is so compelling, because she has made herself into some sort of holographic post-diva?). Poor, poor Mariah. Her new singles are simultaneously fabulous and profoundly sad. (Y U SO OBSESSED W ME?) (I WANT 2 KNOW WHAT LUV IS!!!)
Watching these just makes me think of all of the times I've watched someone really belting a song (or trying, rather) and feeling like they are screaming for no reason. Aretha does it with real feeling, and her voice gives me shivers.
Like I said, compare/contrast with this video. Mariah you know I love you, but you are a diva for my generation. What I mean by this is, like the America of the 90s you are soulless. (Aside: is this why Beyoncé is so compelling, because she has made herself into some sort of holographic post-diva?). Poor, poor Mariah. Her new singles are simultaneously fabulous and profoundly sad. (Y U SO OBSESSED W ME?) (I WANT 2 KNOW WHAT LUV IS!!!)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
It's a new semester already. I am trying to recognize that for the rest of my life I will not deserve a summer vacation ever again, and that it is OK that for the first time I did not have one. Went on a soul journey pilgrimage to Dollywood, a little slice of paradise nestled between her mountainous titties. I rode a roller coaster that turned me upside down in exhilarating ways, and then slept in a haunted house. Then I went to Mexico.
I am already having an existential crisis at school. My professor photocopied my in-class writing as an example for the class, along with a bunch of other admittedly shitty paragraphs. While she critiqued most of the writing pretty harshly, she talked about mine last and said that, while it wasn't perfect, it was one of the only adequate responses. Still, I can't help feeling weird when I am the only white person in the course and the professor is holding me up as what my fellow students should aspire to. Isn't that one of the reasons that HBCUs are important, to be a place where minority students can feel what it's like to be a majority for once? It makes me feel like an intruder, like I am in a space where I do not belong.
I have given this plenty of thought in my time at this school. In most ways it is a very positive thing for me to be enrolled at NCCU. I pay my full tuition, which opens up financial aid for other students who have to have it to be able to attend college. I get an experience similar to what minority students must experience at any other college; when I look around a classroom I mostly see faces that do not look like me. However, my experience is completely different. Instead of being dismissed and silenced, when I do speak up in class my words still carry the privilege accorded to white people in America. I have had opportunities far beyond those of my fellow students; the poems we were discussing are by Natasha Trethewey, a poet I actually got a chance to meet at Governor's School. And while I take pride in the fact that I know enough to write a perceptive essay about black women's experiences, it also feels weird to be publicly commended for it in front of a group of them who a professor has just told that their writing is woefully inadequate. Yall, I am 23 and yall are all 18. If it takes you 6 years to finish your undergrad degree, I bet you'll be able to write a pretty solid Freshman English paper too.
Whoosh, apparently I had SOMETHING TO SAAAYYY.
Also, Ellie Greenwich died. To Ellie: thank you, for writing songs so beautiful and true.
I am already having an existential crisis at school. My professor photocopied my in-class writing as an example for the class, along with a bunch of other admittedly shitty paragraphs. While she critiqued most of the writing pretty harshly, she talked about mine last and said that, while it wasn't perfect, it was one of the only adequate responses. Still, I can't help feeling weird when I am the only white person in the course and the professor is holding me up as what my fellow students should aspire to. Isn't that one of the reasons that HBCUs are important, to be a place where minority students can feel what it's like to be a majority for once? It makes me feel like an intruder, like I am in a space where I do not belong.
I have given this plenty of thought in my time at this school. In most ways it is a very positive thing for me to be enrolled at NCCU. I pay my full tuition, which opens up financial aid for other students who have to have it to be able to attend college. I get an experience similar to what minority students must experience at any other college; when I look around a classroom I mostly see faces that do not look like me. However, my experience is completely different. Instead of being dismissed and silenced, when I do speak up in class my words still carry the privilege accorded to white people in America. I have had opportunities far beyond those of my fellow students; the poems we were discussing are by Natasha Trethewey, a poet I actually got a chance to meet at Governor's School. And while I take pride in the fact that I know enough to write a perceptive essay about black women's experiences, it also feels weird to be publicly commended for it in front of a group of them who a professor has just told that their writing is woefully inadequate. Yall, I am 23 and yall are all 18. If it takes you 6 years to finish your undergrad degree, I bet you'll be able to write a pretty solid Freshman English paper too.
Whoosh, apparently I had SOMETHING TO SAAAYYY.
Also, Ellie Greenwich died. To Ellie: thank you, for writing songs so beautiful and true.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
This is my fortieth post. I mean, that's pretty good, right?
I finally found some quality images of Joseph Cornell's assemblages with parrots. These resonate so much with me, I'm always so amazed that they exist. I'm working on some kind of art thing; I think it's going to end up being a zine. I know that's tired, but I'm going to do it my own way, at my own pace. This means it will never be finished.
Anyway, I'm working on a few poems that may eat each other and some collages. Also something to do with Rimbaud in Africa and queers as participants in imperialism. There's something interesting about the way homosexuality was being constructed and its definition constricted as Europe attempted to annex the entire world. I need to reread Zami/Audre Lorde, my plan is to write my own biomythography. We'll see. I am hoping that it will write itself once the momentum picks up, but pshh.
The thing happened again where I went vegan and within two weeks I was eating both dairy and meat.
I am going to Dollywood, and then on to Mexico. It's finally summer.
I finally found some quality images of Joseph Cornell's assemblages with parrots. These resonate so much with me, I'm always so amazed that they exist. I'm working on some kind of art thing; I think it's going to end up being a zine. I know that's tired, but I'm going to do it my own way, at my own pace. This means it will never be finished.
Anyway, I'm working on a few poems that may eat each other and some collages. Also something to do with Rimbaud in Africa and queers as participants in imperialism. There's something interesting about the way homosexuality was being constructed and its definition constricted as Europe attempted to annex the entire world. I need to reread Zami/Audre Lorde, my plan is to write my own biomythography. We'll see. I am hoping that it will write itself once the momentum picks up, but pshh.
The thing happened again where I went vegan and within two weeks I was eating both dairy and meat.
I am going to Dollywood, and then on to Mexico. It's finally summer.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
My motherfucking guinea pig died. Her name was Princess. She lived a mostly fine life. The highlight of her day was when I fed her not only compressed pellets of hay, but also some actual dried grass. The best days were when I cleaned her cage.
Lots of stuff is up in the air, it is like mercury is in retrograde again, but all of my horrorscopes/whoreoscopes are A+∞+. I feel that I used to know what I wanted to change about my life, but now I'm just sort of lolling (LOLing?) about stoned at the crossroads (have been here for like 4 years now?)
I am auditioning some new girls for the spare room tomorrow. I'll keep yall posted.
I want a husband who will sing songs like this to me.
Lots of stuff is up in the air, it is like mercury is in retrograde again, but all of my horrorscopes/whoreoscopes are A+∞+. I feel that I used to know what I wanted to change about my life, but now I'm just sort of lolling (LOLing?) about stoned at the crossroads (have been here for like 4 years now?)
I am auditioning some new girls for the spare room tomorrow. I'll keep yall posted.
I want a husband who will sing songs like this to me.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Hay yall
I need to stop with the haaaays, my google reader is advertising horse food to me.
I am on day 3 of my diet. My diet is called eat something other than cheese and drink something other than Dr. Pepper and beer. I'll let you know.
We have been talking a lot about the history of Ethiopia at school, which is really cool. The Falasha Jews came up, and then Whitney Houston's decision to visit the Black Jews in Israel to work on her Christmas album. As my professor said, "Who knows what she did, but when she came back she was STILL on drugs." Poor Whitney, you will always have my respect, or at least my love.
I'm going to see friendz and the baby in the mountains this weekend. It's her second birthday!
I need to stop with the haaaays, my google reader is advertising horse food to me.
I am on day 3 of my diet. My diet is called eat something other than cheese and drink something other than Dr. Pepper and beer. I'll let you know.
We have been talking a lot about the history of Ethiopia at school, which is really cool. The Falasha Jews came up, and then Whitney Houston's decision to visit the Black Jews in Israel to work on her Christmas album. As my professor said, "Who knows what she did, but when she came back she was STILL on drugs." Poor Whitney, you will always have my respect, or at least my love.
I'm going to see friendz and the baby in the mountains this weekend. It's her second birthday!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Blog blog blog blog blog blog
I am reading a book called Turn the Beat Around: The Secret History of Disco. It's something I think about a lot, the way for one intense decade black people and gay people danced to the same music, in the same places, while doing the same drugs. I feel there is a lot to reclaim.
Also I have been thinking about Sara Baartman, the Hottentot Venus. Her life was rough, yall. Docile bodies, Foucault me in the ass, etc. Also, about how much of the knowledge in schoolbooks was written as a means of justifying European imperialism. I feel that, if I have a calling as a historian, it is connected to this. Will reflect on this next ~soul journey~ and report back.
I have been taking so many soul journeys. I mean, what else is there to do sometimes?
I am reading a book called Turn the Beat Around: The Secret History of Disco. It's something I think about a lot, the way for one intense decade black people and gay people danced to the same music, in the same places, while doing the same drugs. I feel there is a lot to reclaim.
Also I have been thinking about Sara Baartman, the Hottentot Venus. Her life was rough, yall. Docile bodies, Foucault me in the ass, etc. Also, about how much of the knowledge in schoolbooks was written as a means of justifying European imperialism. I feel that, if I have a calling as a historian, it is connected to this. Will reflect on this next ~soul journey~ and report back.
I have been taking so many soul journeys. I mean, what else is there to do sometimes?
Thursday, May 7, 2009
My mom is getting her PhD! I've been looking for poems to read at her graduation party, and I found this awesome one.
Golden Oldie
I made it home early, only to get
stalled in the driveway-swaying
at the wheel like a blind pianist caught in a tune
meant for more than two hands playing.
The words were easy, crooned
by a young girl dying to feel alive, to discover
a pain majestic enough
to live by. I turned the air conditioning off,
leaned back to float on a film of sweat,
and listened to her sentiment:
Baby, where did our love go?-a lament
I greedily took in
without a clue who my lover
might be, or where to start looking.
-Rita Dove
Golden Oldie
I made it home early, only to get
stalled in the driveway-swaying
at the wheel like a blind pianist caught in a tune
meant for more than two hands playing.
The words were easy, crooned
by a young girl dying to feel alive, to discover
a pain majestic enough
to live by. I turned the air conditioning off,
leaned back to float on a film of sweat,
and listened to her sentiment:
Baby, where did our love go?-a lament
I greedily took in
without a clue who my lover
might be, or where to start looking.
-Rita Dove
Monday, April 20, 2009
keep it common law
I've been thinking about this blog more than you would think that I've been thinking about this blog.
It's been a struggle, as always.
I went to the beach this weekend. I ran into the surf giddy and stoned, laughing semi-hysterically until a breaker knocked me sideways and stole my glasses. I have had glasses since I was four years old, and my vision has never been clear enough for me to see what my face looks like without them. That is, until now. THANK U KKKONTAXXX!!!!!
Too many dreams, yall
It's been a struggle, as always.
I went to the beach this weekend. I ran into the surf giddy and stoned, laughing semi-hysterically until a breaker knocked me sideways and stole my glasses. I have had glasses since I was four years old, and my vision has never been clear enough for me to see what my face looks like without them. That is, until now. THANK U KKKONTAXXX!!!!!
Too many dreams, yall
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
my baby's got e.s.p.
It's been a long time
shouldn'taleftyou
I got a twitter, which is much more conducive to the erratic spurts of thought that my brain sometimes achieves. It's not hard to find if you're interested.
I am going to South by Southwest.
School is a big life commitment yall. Being funemployed gets a little less fun with every week. I spend my time biting my nails and reading Mercedes Lackey novels. I am thinking restaurant work. Ugh.
I really want to lose three pounds.
shouldn'taleftyou
I got a twitter, which is much more conducive to the erratic spurts of thought that my brain sometimes achieves. It's not hard to find if you're interested.
I am going to South by Southwest.
School is a big life commitment yall. Being funemployed gets a little less fun with every week. I spend my time biting my nails and reading Mercedes Lackey novels. I am thinking restaurant work. Ugh.
I really want to lose three pounds.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
2008
SexXxy can I?
I AM DONE HERE ARE SOME THINGS I LIKED IN 2008
I liked these people's albums here are some videos:
Beyonce's baby sister thinks her shit is too good to be embedded. What a diva. Here.
Yall are going to have to click here for this. Not a rickroll, Universal are just slurs who won't let this be embedded. Also the reverse of this video was even better, but it isn't online anymore. NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY
Like every other white person who listens to rap I LOVE LIL WAYNE. I thought this album had the two best pop songs of the year, Lollipop and Ms. Officer. It's all really good stuff, wish my name was Mrs Carter-huh.
I was going to write about books but you know, books are dead.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
i got barack in my arms again
so satisfied.
Today I mistook cuticle cream for lip gloss.
I never reviewed it for y'all, but the new Beyonce album is still amazing.
My semester is starting; I'm taking 18 hours dear GOD. Everything is what I want to be doing, so that's cool. I have two classes with only two students. Also my job is going out of business. As much as I hate it, I have worked there for four years. Hate you, [poorly run book corporation] for making me feel feelings.
Vinyl roundup! I have recently acquired:
Reflections-The Supremes
Love to Love You Baby-Donna Summer
Friends-Shalamar
? (it has You Make Me Feel Mighty Real)-Sylvester
the soundtrack to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Also for all five of my readers, specifically the one who asked me, yes i am going to do more year end posting, I am just doing it AT MY OWN PACE BECAUSE I DESERVE IT. You'll probably see it mid june. Or later this afternoon.
On New Years I resolved to only listen to music from Africa in 2009. I later said I would only listen to disco for all of 2009. At least there is one song I can listen to:
Today I mistook cuticle cream for lip gloss.
I never reviewed it for y'all, but the new Beyonce album is still amazing.
My semester is starting; I'm taking 18 hours dear GOD. Everything is what I want to be doing, so that's cool. I have two classes with only two students. Also my job is going out of business. As much as I hate it, I have worked there for four years. Hate you, [poorly run book corporation] for making me feel feelings.
Vinyl roundup! I have recently acquired:
Reflections-The Supremes
Love to Love You Baby-Donna Summer
Friends-Shalamar
? (it has You Make Me Feel Mighty Real)-Sylvester
the soundtrack to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls
Also for all five of my readers, specifically the one who asked me, yes i am going to do more year end posting, I am just doing it AT MY OWN PACE BECAUSE I DESERVE IT. You'll probably see it mid june. Or later this afternoon.
On New Years I resolved to only listen to music from Africa in 2009. I later said I would only listen to disco for all of 2009. At least there is one song I can listen to:
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)